Just When I Start Believing I Can Love Myself I Do Something To Make Me Hate Myself.
When you spend four days crying and crying, you forget what it’s like to not cry.
I’m still down 10lbs over all. I gained 3 bit I guess that is what you get when you eat at work all the time, for me McDonald’s. I am going through a lot lately so I’m not going to worry about it. I need to make sure I am happy. Then I’ll worry more about my weight.
You know that moment when you really really fuck up? Yeah this is one of those moments. Maybe what I did was for the best? No I think I may have lost a friend with this one. Should I have kept it a secret? Probably, unless my best friend found out. I wish I was ignorant to the whole situation. If I didn’t know maybe there would be less secrets to hide. I ready fucked up with this one. Who can I trust? Megan, no. Shay? Unless she gets super upset. Keith? Well I could until I screwed him over. Kara? I don’t think so. Myself? I’m starting to think not. There is no one in my life I can completely trust…. No one. So maybe I should quit being so nosy? Maybe I should refuse to keep secrets from now on. I think I’m making this bigger than it is. But right now. All I want to do is cry. Maybe even cut myself. But I know that’s extreme. I just wish I never ever knew.